This just in:
Five notorious Beverly hooligans, in the glare of mid-day sun, crossed the Kernwood bridge into Salem. They brazenly carried a ladder. They were trailed by an investigator and a bomb sniffing dog. They proceeded to BOMB Felt St with Kool-aid dyed felt squares. Then they escaped by leaping off a high bridge and disappearing into the Danvers River.
If you see these hooligans, do not approach. They are armed with knitting needles. Call 978-927-2108.
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